PORN IS FOR THE BIRDS
VIDEO FIGHT TO BENEFIT VALLEY WILDLIFE GROUP
[See the italicized comments in brackets, below, for the true story!]
By Linda Helser
A controversy over a yet-to-be-released Hollywood porn video featuring actress Pamela Anderson Lee is the unlikely cause of a financial windfall for the Arizona Humane Society.
So is Ken White, director of the Phoenix shelter for animals, who learned Thursday from filmmaker and rock singer Bret Michaels that $2,500 would be coming his way soon.
"The whole thing is bizarre," White said. "I don't get many phone calls from Hollywood, but we're pretty happy to get the money."
Seems as though Michaels, 34, is currently doing battle with Lee, the former Baywatch television star who is attempting to release a sexually explicit video of the two that they made in October 1994.
The filming took place before her rocky marriage to Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, while she and Michaels, a lead singer for the heavy-metal group Poison, were dating.
Lee's goal was to make the tape available through a pornographic Web site, just as she and her husband had done with a video featuring them. She filed for divorce Thursday, after a domestic dispute this week.
Because Michaels never intended for the video to be made public, he is attempting to block its release.
"He was aware of the tape and he did it for their personal viewing pleasure, but he's extremely unhappy about the video being released," said Riki Valentine, an associate with Michaels' film company, Sheen/Michaels Entertainment Inc. "So he's filed a temporary federal injunction fighting the release of this tape."
When television's Hard Copy called Michaels for an interview, he agreed but only if the tabloid news show made a donation to his favorite charity - the Arizona Humane Society.
According to Hard Copy officials, the segment will air Monday at 10:35 p.m. on Channel 3 (KTVK).
"Bret told me he didn't want to benefit from anything to do with that tape and he was hoping we would accept the $2,500," White said.
He was happy to oblige.
Michaels' affinity for the Humane Society dates back to December when he was directing No Code of Conduct, a $10 million action thriller starring his business partner, Charlie Sheen, and Sheen's father, Martin.
While filming at the abandoned Phoenix Trotting Park in Goodyear, Michaels' crew set off explosives for effect, accidentally killing hundreds of pigeons that were roosting in the grandstands.
An additional 140 pigeons were injured.
"It was just awful," White said. "The impact was such that hundreds and hundreds of birds were incinerated. We'll never really know how many."
[White certainly will never know because he was instrumental in obstructing the Urban Wildlife Society's concerted efforts to rescue the remaining hundred or so injured or orphaned Rock Doves. So, there they were, left in the rafters -- severely burned adults who could not fly down and babies who's parents were so badly injured they couldn't get home to care for them -- terrified, lonely, desperate, and confused -- slowly, agonizingly, starving or freezing to death -- or falling (talk about impact!), breaking bones upon colliding with the concrete far below -- only to be ripped apart by predators.]
And White was assured how upset Michaels was by the injuries and deaths.
[The last lines of this article (quote of White) probably indicate just how truly upset White was.]
At least 12 volunteers of For The Birds Rehabilitation Foundation have cared for the pigeons since.
"I have 10 myself and some of these will never be able to be released back into the wild," said Barb Houston of Phoenix. "Their beaks are burned so badly that they would never make it."
Not only has caring for the birds taken her time, it's also used up her resources.
"I go through a $15, 50-pound bag of seed twice a week," she said.
[This is a ridiculously gross exaggeration. One 50-pound bag of pigeon seed will easily feed 200 birds for a week. It costs pennies a day to feed a pigeon. The burned birds required little long term attention other than routine custodial care. I have cared for one of the worst cases, myself. And Ms. Houston is hardly lacking in financial resources.]
That's why White plans to turn his newfound revenue over to the bird-loving volunteers.
"Most likely we will give $2,000 of it to For The Birds and the other $500 to the Urban Wildlife Society, who helped us rescue birds out in the field," White said.
[If this weren't so absurd, it would be laughable. Wildlife Concepts received the anonymous call, referred it to The Urban Wildlife Society, and joined in the investigation and rescue of 140 of the 150 or so victims lucky enough to be rescued. What did the Arizona Humane Society actually do in the field? There wasn't anything left for them to do when they arrived, uninvited, on the scene -- except pander to the news media.
As for the money? The Urban Wildlife Society has never asked for nor received a penny from anybody. Wildlife Concepts has not received anything, either. If "For the Birds" got something, it is blood money because they were also complicit in preventing the rescue of the remaining victims.]
Michaels approves of White's disbursement of the $2,500.
"He feels really remorseful about the role he had to play in the animals dying here, and he's not really paying guilt money, but rather just helping them recoup the legitimate out-of-pocket expenses in caring for the birds," White said.
[The "legitimate" expenses to the Arizona Humane Society are less than zero. The Urban Wildlife Society tried repeatedly to contact Michaels, White, and others about this travesty. No reply.]
He said Michaels also made him some promises regarding the X-rated video, just in case it is released.
"Bret assured me there were no animals used in the video," said White, suppressing giggles.
[Compassionate people, especially those who witnessed the aftermath of this tragedy, find absolutely nothing funny about any aspect of it.]